ondan sonra 11

Today at my aikido practice, I was showing some nice falls. Even I had to compare with my friend for her 5th kyu test. I was doing ok until the last practice, where we do some forward and backward flips. I wanted to try something and I fall on almost my neck. Everything went white for a moment and I’ve just threw my body so I can lay down. I heard an almost screamy voice from my friend.

My neck and head still hurts but I feel ok now. Wanted to just write this.
Now I’m singing Poison - Nothing but a good time. Because it’s nice to see the one you love after this kind of accident. He even tried acupuncture in a little time. I felt the pain was gone, but no it’s still here, at least a little bit of it.

Walking with the one you love, through the streets, is a nice thing. I just can’t describe, it needs to be happen to you.

Well it’s somehow tiring, walking for 5 kms. after aikido practice with a huge bag. But still when you have the one you love, next to you, you just don’t care anything besides that moment.

yesterday my friend told me that “did something happen? because you seem wuite and depressed, it’s like you already find the solution of the life, and feel like you are not a human but a god-like thing.”

i don’t know, what’s gotten with me. i feel something’s changing inside me but i can’t tell what it is. maybe i’ve finally grown up. .-.

I heard many people used to use this or something similar to this medicine but, it will be first for me.
I have been struggling with anxiety. My friend made me go to psychologist. After talking with psychologist, he told me that visiting psychiatrist would be better for me.

He, psychiatrist, calmly explained everything that some people would have problems with their serotonin hormone. “It would cause some neurological sickness such as obsessive-compulsive, so for you to be healthy I would like to recommend you a medicine, if you wish.”

I agreed, because this has been effecting my life too much.

Again reiki.. now I have my friend as a teacher. I still don’t believe but I’m aware of being able to pass energy. It’s really weird.

as a human i failed i guess. still trying to be some kind of a human shaped thing but dunno.. it feels like i’m getting more depressive by the moment. thought i was going to start reiki training, eventhough i just can’t bring myself to believe these things.. in fact reiki sounds interesting, and has weird features. but i am a scientist.. lol. 

it’s time to listen some alice in chains.

What am I doing nowadays? I have been feeling down because I might not be able to graduate this July. But just 2 weeks ago, I met someone, who I last saw 5 years ago. It’s been a long time since I’ve had this feelings towards someone. It’s like having a punch on your stomach and you feel like smiling everytime..

Other than that, my dear love, Paul Gilbert is going to visit Turkey and not only Istanbul! He is coming to Ankara too. I’ve bought my ticket and waiting for the concert day.

And last month I’ve started doing 合気道（ａｉｋｉｄｏ） and 居合道　（ｉａｉｄｏ）, tho, I already injured myself. My shoulder hurts a lot. Whenever I become uke, I find myself laying on the tatami. I’m sure it looks funny from the outside, but no it hurts a lot （´(ｪ)｀）

That’s all for now~~♬♪★